Online Dating – Episode #133


Steve sprays one squirt of Aqua Di Gio on the left side of his neck before heading out of the door.  Cell phone, check.  Wallet, check.  Breath mints, double check.  He’s headed downtown to meet Lisa, an adventurous 4th grade teacher who spends her summers traveling, tasting wine, and reading.  They’ve communicated several times via email, text, and phone, but this will be the first time they’ve met in person.  They’ve met online and finally felt comfortable enough to make it a date. It beats waiting for a lover to fall out of the sky.  Just like all matters of life, the experience will be what you make it.

I know several people (myself included) that met people online.  The experiences shared among us range from disaster to happily married.  Either way, credit is due for stepping out the comfort zone and for try a new way to make a connection.  According to a survey commissioned by Match.com, 17 percent of marriages between 2007 and 2010 met online, making it the third-most-frequent method of introduction, behind meeting through a mutual acquaintance or at work or school.

Here are 2 personal stories that were shared with me while researching this post.

Anonymous Female – plentyoffish.com

“I found it very entertaining, just searching the website.  My 1st experience was really good, super, super nice guy.  He was Ex military and a God-fearing man.  He made 6 figures, had his own home, 2 dogs, engineer, couple of motorcycles, etc.  BUT he was going way to fast!  After a month he was talking about marriage/kids (both things I want), guessing the size of my ring finger, etc.  It was just a little much for me. He scared me a little, so I ended it.  My 2nd experience, the guy was too whiny. So, nothing after the 1st date.  I talked 3 of my girlfriends into joining it, and everyone loves it.  They’ve all been on dates, and finds it to be a great pass time.  I think the 1st couple of dates should be very lighthearted.  Nothing to serious. So, people won’t get scared off like me.  2 Words: Great Topic!”

Craig and Sarah – Match.com

“Craig and I met on Match.  I had also done eHarmony in the past (with very little success) and he had also done Plenty of Fish.  I did not like eHarmony because I never felt like I had much control… I just got what they gave me, in terms of options.  I think Craig met people on Plenty of Fish, but nothing was ever very serious.  I’m not sure it’s a very serious site anyway for dating.

Craig and Sarah had been in so many of the same places at the same times, but never met each other before. They were both in Greenville, NC from ’98-’99 and both lived in Chicago around the same time as well.  At the time Sarah was married.  Things did not work out in her first marriage and after bouncing around a bit they both ended up in Charlotte, NC.  Craig went back to school to earn his engineering degree at UNC-Charlotte. After receiving his degree, he landed a job at The Center for the Environment at Catawba College.  Sarah finally got the job of her dreams in Charlotte with Mecklenburg County’s Children’s Developmental Services Agency as an evaluating speech-language pathologist.  After a little over a year in Charlotte, she decided to do match.com. Craig sent her an email through the site and they are now happily engaged. Craig knew from the first telephone call that he was going to marry her.  He also said, “God had a hand in our meeting when we did.  Although we crossed paths so many times, I truly believe God was making us wait until we were both ready to meet each other…”

They were exactly what they had been looking for in terms of age, education level, interests, etc.  However, they both agreed that there’s got to be more there in order for something to last.  Sarah said, “As we got to know each other, we found out more that was written in the profile.  Warmth, family connections, personality…none of that translates in an online dating profile.  We definitely got lucky.  We are very honest with people about how we met.  At first I was a tad embarrassed, but online dating really is a part of our culture now, particularly with people over a certain age who are not bar people.”


 

Become Better lessons:

  1. Nothing is 100% so research it before putting yourself out there and before paying money.
  2. When meeting new people in general you should always proceed with caution.
  3. Meeting people online can be a wonderful experience if you’re willing to take a chance.

 

Whether you meet in church, the grocery story, or online, relationships are what you make them to be. Know better. Do better. Be better.

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Here are my reviews of some of the most popular online dating sites. (SN: It’s funny how they all say their #1 or the leading matchmaking site in the world).

 

match.com

Cost: $40 per month and sometimes they run specials.  There’s plenty of people to choose from which makes it a little more competitive, but it’s one of the more popular dating sites.  Very professional.  You don’t have to be matched up to browse profiles.

eHarmony.com

Cost: 1 month = $59.95/month.  3 months = $39.95/month.  6 months = $29.95/month.  12 months = $19.95/month.  After completing a questionaire, they send you the matches.  You can only view profiles of matches they send you.  It kinda stinks if they don’t have any matches, but the good thing is you’re not wasting your time.  If there is no match you don’t have to pay (Money back guarantee).  Does not offer any connections for LGBT community.

Zoosk.com

Cost: 1 month = $29.95/month.  3 months = $19.99/month.  12 months = $9.99/month.  Popular with the 30 and 40 something crowd.  Integrates online dating and social media.  Zoosk can gather information about you from your social networking sites (i.e. facebook)

Okcupid.com

Cost: Free but you can upgrade your account for $9.99/month, which in my opinion isn’t necessary.  It’s similar to Match.com being that there’s a lot of people so it’s competitive to meet people. I personally know people who have great things to say about this site.

ChristianMingle.com

Cost: 1 month = $29.99/month.  3 months = $16.99/month.  6 months = $13.99/month.  A great website to meet other Christians.  You can meet Christians on the other sites, but this site is specifically for Christians.

jdate.com

Cost: 1 month = $39.99/month.  3 months = $33.33/month.  6 months = $24.99/month.  A great website to meet people of the Jewish faith.  You can meet Jewish people on the other sites, but this site is specifically for Jewish dating.

Catholicmatch.com

Cost: 1 month = $24.95/month.  3 months = $16.65/month.  6 months = $12.49/month.  A great website to meet other Catholics.  You can meet Catholics on the other sites, but this site is specifically for people of Catholic faith.

Ourtime.com

Cost: 1 month = $19.99/month.  6 months = 11.99/month.  Profile is free, but you can’t communicate unless you have a paid membership.  The site is geared towards (but not limited to) singles over 50.  Very easy site to use.

Itsjustlunch.com

Cost: EXPENSIVE AS HELL!  I’m talking $1,500+ expensive!  This site connects you with a match and helps plan your first date.  They help you find a date and then schedule a time and place to meet for lunch or drinks after work.  I’ve read that customer service isn’t great and they do not off refunds.  I’ve also heard their selection pool is limited.  It sounds like such a great concept, but it looks like you’d be better off going on Yelp and seeing who complained about IJL and then asking THEM out on a date.

plentyoffish.com

Cost: Free!  It’s literally PLENTY.  Similar to Match in the # of people.  This dating site has great reviews and it sounds like people love it because there are so many people to connect with and it’s free.

Craig’s list

Cost: Free.  Not my first choice of sites to find someone, but it’s free. There’s a big stigma associated with Craig’s List because of the “Craig’s List” killer, but when using ANY of these sites you should proceed with caution.

 

Here are some other sites to search. Chemistry.com, Loveandseek.com (Christian), Blackpeoplemeet.com, Bbpeoplemeet.com (Big and Beautiful), Singleparentmeet.com.

 

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