Understanding Marriage

A friend/prom date (shout out to Errica) mentioned the topic of marriage as a post. After a little research and some thought, this is what I found.·
The average age of a woman getting married in the United States is 27.  The average age of a man getting married in the United States is 29. — Bride’s Magazine

·         88 percent of American men and women between the ages of 20 and 29 believe that they have a soul mate who is waiting for them. — University Wire, Louisiana State University

·         59 percent of marriages for women under the age of 18 end in divorce within 15 years. The divorce rate drops to 36 percent for those married at age 20 or older. — “Cohabitation, Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage in the United States,” M.D. Bramlett and W.D. Mosher

·         60 percent of marriages for couples between the ages of 20 and 25 end in divorce. — National Center for Health Statistics

·         50 percent of all marriages in which the brides are 25 or older result in a failed marriage. — National Center for Health Statistics

·         65 percent of altar-bound men and women live together before getting married.— Bride’s Magazine

·         Research indicates that people who live together prior to getting married are more likely to have marriages that end in divorce. — The Boston Herald

·         A recent study on cohabitation concluded that after five to seven years, only 21 percent of unmarried couples were still living together. — The Boston Herald

The statistics listed above are only food for thought.  Don’t let society dictate the outcome of your relationship.  We are all different, but we have similarities.  When looking at the statistics above, are you seeing a glass that’s half empty or half full?  Which half will you be in?  Your effort plays a huge role in your outcome.  I am VERY aware that there are circumstances that are out of our control, but at the same time there are numerous factors that we control.  Communication, understanding, effort, love, and intimacy are all examples of things that we can work on as couples.  A very close friend of mine (who’s married) told me a great piece of marital advice.  He said, “Start like you’ll finish, don’t stop doing the things you did in the beginning, and remain consistent.”  We just need to know what we’re signing up for.

“I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

These vows are real and not meant to be written off as a void check, if you don’t want to make the payment.  If you’re having trouble communicating with your partner, seek therapy.  Counseling is real and not limited to the insane and deranged.  And I’m not talking about seeking therapy from just your mother or their cousin’s sister.  See a licensed Family and Marriage Therapist or even your pastor. There’s nothing wrong with a little mediation.  For other tips on making it work see my previous posts:  Burn CandlesThank YouListen More, and Don’t Quit.

Suggested reading:  Gary Chapman – 5 Love Languages

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